When Sandy first contacted KidsAid, she was seeking support for her 4-year-old son, Toby, who had been exposed to years of domestic abuse.
Sandy described feeling “stuck” in a constant state of fight or flight, overwhelmed by intense anxiety. She found it difficult to talk about the abuse they had experienced, fearing the emotional consequences and unsure how best to support Toby through his own trauma. To enable Sandy to be emotionally available for her son, it was recommended that she also begin therapy.
In those early sessions, Sandy and her therapist worked together to establish the goals of her therapy: to process the trauma of psychological abuse and coercive control from her ex-partner, rebuild her self-esteem, manage her anxiety, and strengthen her communication with Toby.
From the outset, Sandy engaged wholeheartedly. Recurring themes quickly emerged—feeling unheard, silenced, and overshadowed. While doing her best to protect Toby from further harm, Sandy was also disconnecting from her own pain. Avoidance had become a coping mechanism—one that was unintentionally holding back healing for them both.
Sandy confided that she often felt overwhelmed and fearful that if she lost control, Toby might be taken into care. Her constant planning and hyper-vigilance—ways she tried to manage her anxiety—were leaving her emotionally and physically exhausted.
As therapy progressed, Sandy began to explore, challenge, and reframe the negative thought patterns driving her anxiety. With time and practice, she became more able to express her needs, communicate openly, and regulate her emotional responses. Slowly, the all-consuming fight-or-flight feelings began to ease.
A turning point came when Sandy started to reclaim her voice. With growing confidence, she began advocating for herself, setting boundaries, and making positive changes in her relationships. She experienced a deepening sense of agency, self-worth, and empowerment—essential milestones on her path to recovery.
By the end of therapy, Sandy reflected that referring Toby to KidsAid had, in fact, been the first step toward addressing her own unmet need for support. She realised that until she was able to speak about the abuse herself without becoming overwhelmed, she wouldn’t be able to help Toby do the same.
In her final session, Sandy shared a pivotal moment: she and Toby had finally spoken together about their trauma. It was a powerful moment of connection and relief for them both. With new understanding and emotional tools, their bond had strengthened—and together, they felt ready to move forward.
“I can only say that KidsAid have been incredible. My therapy sessions brought back the light in my life which was lost for a while. I finally feel hopeful about the future. I have learned how to accept the past and live with what life brings to me now. My thinking has changed, as has my approach to life. I feel I am a better Mum. We can finally move forward with our lives.”
